just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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