I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
