i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
please come you make the beer taste better
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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