I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
