can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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