I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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