Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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