Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
