Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
