I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
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I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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