if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize