i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
