i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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