Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
