if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
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