Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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