She said her name was "party"
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
