Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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