addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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