If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
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