I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she pinky promised me she was 18
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
