Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I lost the right to judge tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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