Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
where does the pee come out of this thing
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
