if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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