before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
