I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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