You smell like stripper and shame
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
