He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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