Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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