Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize