I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
