she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
