Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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