It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
