i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize