I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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