I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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