No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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