Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
