did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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