what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
