im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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