we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
