i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
