You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
