so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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