Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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