I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
