i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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