soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
