Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
