If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
only if we run a train.
done.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I deserve this hangover.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
