how can u be prego again
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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