it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
