do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
