so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Barsexuality is the new black.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
