i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize