Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it's like iHOP with fire
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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