I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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